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assbuttsalad:

ruln:

is it just me or does shit feel like a more intense word than crap

yeah i feel u, like shit ends in the letter t and t is like a knife while the p in crap is like a spoon

towritepoems:

my chemistry teacher calls babies “fresh humans”

rainbow-heichou:

vambrace:

insecuredragon:

vambrace:

insecuredragon:

vambrace:

Please observe this terribly accurate depiction of my boyfriend and me

here’s a better depiction 

try this, actually

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you think you’re gonna win this

Oh I don’t think. I know

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petition to dub this post the cutest thing ever

poppunkfunk:

I’m in this weird stage where I don’t really like myself, but I don’t really care anymore

untemporarily:

iamnotdoingshittoday:

Wolves

The second most high quality gif I’ve seen

untemporarily:

iamnotdoingshittoday:

Wolves

The second most high quality gif I’ve seen

firelorcl:

i scare people lots because i walk very softly and they don’t hear me enter rooms so when they turn around i’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me

joanne-fallen-angel-of-bacon:

kvotheunkvothe:

bluebananabowtie:

weirdotwins:

sophael:

waveformtheta:

haberdashing:

waveformtheta:

GUYS. THIS PLANET IS MADE LITERALLY OF DIAMONDS
ITS A FUCKING GIANT ASS DIAMOND
HUMANITIES SOLE PURPOSE IS OBVIOUSLY TO HAUL THAT SUCKER BACK HERE
I want to get an engagement ring without the diamond in it, and propose with it, and when she gets confused, I just show her this through the telescope and be like “I couldn’t find a diamond that deserved you in our solar system, how about that honker?”
Side note: It is named Cancri
Space is cool as fuck

DO NOT GO TO THE DIAMOND PLANET

I wanna fuck the diamond planet

That’s how he does it. That’s how he does it. He makes you fight. He makes you fight. Creeps into your head. Creeps into your head. And whispers. And whispers. Listen. Listen. Just listen. Just listen. That’s him. That’s him. Inside. Inside.

whats goin on in this post anymore?

NO ONE GO NEAR THE PLANET NO ONE KNOCK NO ONE MOVE



now that you’ve said all that I was really reading it in his voice

joanne-fallen-angel-of-bacon:

kvotheunkvothe:

bluebananabowtie:

weirdotwins:

sophael:

waveformtheta:

haberdashing:

waveformtheta:

GUYS. THIS PLANET IS MADE LITERALLY OF DIAMONDS

ITS A FUCKING GIANT ASS DIAMOND

HUMANITIES SOLE PURPOSE IS OBVIOUSLY TO HAUL THAT SUCKER BACK HERE

I want to get an engagement ring without the diamond in it, and propose with it, and when she gets confused, I just show her this through the telescope and be like “I couldn’t find a diamond that deserved you in our solar system, how about that honker?”

Side note: It is named Cancri

Space is cool as fuck

DO NOT GO TO THE DIAMOND PLANET

I wanna fuck the diamond planet

That’s how he does it. That’s how he does it. He makes you fight. He makes you fight. Creeps into your head. Creeps into your head. And whispers. And whispers. Listen. Listen. Just listen. Just listen. That’s him. That’s him. Inside. Inside.

whats goin on in this post anymore?

NO ONE GO NEAR THE PLANET NO ONE KNOCK NO ONE MOVE

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now that you’ve said all that I was really reading it in his voice

majortvjunkie:

who are they

britishmenaremyweakness:

seasalticecream32:

rebeltimedork:

seasalticecream32:

rebeltimedork:

mykashikoifandoms8:

yahooanswerswtf:

This is why we need sex education

And spelling education

I don’t get it. Tell me, some people don’t get sex-ed?

Oh sweet pea, no. America sucks. We don’t get sex-ed. Not in schools, and often not at home. So it is fully possible that this girl is American and 11 thinks she can get pregnant from drinking after a boy.

:O
I repat, I’m serious, I’m not sarcastic.

I am serious too. And in America, we often reject logical decisions based on… absolutely no evidence of any good outcome.

That’s extremely poor parenting. We definitely should have better sex ed, but you don’t let your kid get to 11 without telling them where babies come from and how. I knew by the time I was 8.

britishmenaremyweakness:

seasalticecream32:

rebeltimedork:

seasalticecream32:

rebeltimedork:

mykashikoifandoms8:

yahooanswerswtf:

This is why we need sex education

And spelling education

I don’t get it. Tell me, some people don’t get sex-ed?

Oh sweet pea, no. America sucks. We don’t get sex-ed. Not in schools, and often not at home. So it is fully possible that this girl is American and 11 thinks she can get pregnant from drinking after a boy.

:O

I repat, I’m serious, I’m not sarcastic.

I am serious too. And in America, we often reject logical decisions based on… absolutely no evidence of any good outcome.

That’s extremely poor parenting. We definitely should have better sex ed, but you don’t let your kid get to 11 without telling them where babies come from and how. I knew by the time I was 8.

Best of Autocorrect

damonssalvatoree:

lordofthedawn:

rocknrollercoaster:

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I got to “Dad” and had to scroll down and reblog for a break because I laughed so hard I nearly threw up twice.

"Killing her seems a bit harsh"